Here’s Modern Family star Julie Bowen in Hawaii on Sunday, and this is a woman who should probably remained fully clothed. No, really, up until I saw these, I was under the impression Julie Bowen was smoking hot. Turns… …read full story

Seen here summoning a legion of harpies at Carnaval a few weeks back, Madonna is still on the hunt for Gerard Butler’s elephant spear, according to Hollywood Life: Gerard attended a private bash that Madge, Demi Moore and producer… …read full story

- Jake Gyllenhaal and Rachel McAdams: An Argument for McJakey. [Lainey Gossip] – Anderson Cooper to Jessica Simpson: “Bitch, I will cut you.” [Dlisted] – Barbara Walters thinks she killed Ricky Martin’s career. [PopEater] – Kelly Ripa keeps her… …read full story

Jeremy Renner apparently is not fondling Jessica Simpson’s breasts while wearing a bomb suit, according to Us Magazine: But Renner – who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday – told UsMagazine.com Sunday at the Governor’s Ball that he… …read full story

Here’s Modern Family star Julie Bowen in Hawaii on Sunday, and this is a woman who should probably remained fully clothed. No, really, up until I saw these, I was under the impression Julie Bowen was smoking hot. Turns… …read full story

Because not all cokedealers accept blowjobs, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million over a Super Bowl ad featuring a “milkaholic” baby named Lindsay (after the jump). The New York Post reports: The ad — part of a… …read full story

Heidi Montag spoofs the body science gave her in a new Funny or Die video inexplicably directed by Ron Howard. I say inexplicably because the man’s a legendary director and could’ve easily got away with advocating credit card reform… …read full story

Somehow Tila Tequila was invited to a gifting room suite for the Oscars on Sunday and every con artist knows nothing gets free tchotchkes like a fake pregnancy. Sure she appears to be showing and is a little fatter… …read full story

As the world focuses its attention on last night’s Academy Awards, it’s comforting to know supermodels are still out there stretching and standing in the ocean. In a way, they’re almost like The Hurt Locker, but with less war-fighting… …read full story

And now for the final roundup where I just give everybody nicknames because if I see another red carpet photo I’m 90% positive I’ll literally shit an Oscar statue. Butt-gantor and her faithful sidekick, Picante Bones Alotta Fagina PieTrap… …read full story

Here’s Charlize Theron at the Oscars last night and, look, I’m no fashion expert. But if that dress was designed to make me sexually assault a Cinnabon, mission double-accomplished. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m no longer welcome at… …read full story

- Ryan Reynolds might as well have had “Guess Who Won” written on his chin. [Lainey Gossip] – George Clooney’s look of death explained. [Dlisted] – Lindsay Lohan fired from Ungaro because apparently businesses are supposed to make money…. …read full story

Kathy Ireland surprised most of the modern world last night by a.) being alive and b.) interviewing Oscar attendees looking like some sort of leathery orange Avatar puppeted by James Cameron to psyche out the competition. This of course… …read full story

Despite the fact it competed against the season finale of Big Love, Amanda Seyfried attended the Oscars because she stars in Nicholas Sparks movies now. Of course she ended up presenting an award with Miley Cyrus, so I like… …read full story

As the world focuses its attention on last night’s Academy Awards, it’s comforting to know supermodels are still out there stretching and standing in the ocean. In a way, they’re almost like The Hurt Locker, but with less war-fighting… …read full story

When we last left Bar Refaeli I called her a “fucking whore” for posing in a bikini with The Situation from Jersey Shore, so I’d like to take this time to acknowledge that might have been a tad harsh…. …read full story

Dear Academy Awards, I found your stage for next year. Hope you like ratings. – The Superficial Scope Out (16) Pics of Christina Hendricks After the Jump Photos: Getty, WENN… …read full story

Just a heads up, if I sound a little crotchety this morning, it’s because I sat through the entire ABC broadcast of the Oscars and will never get that time back. Granted, I’ve blacked out drunk for longer periods… …read full story

If you sat through the entire three hour plus verbal blowjob fest that was last night’s Oscar, you were probably too paralyzed with suicidal thoughts to notice they forgot Farrah Fawcett during the “Ha Ha, You People Died” montage…. …read full story

Me, for posting these pics of Argentinian model Belen Rodriguez instead of Ed Asner on the red carpet which is, literally, what I almost did. (I liked Up. Sue me.) In the meantime, feel free to make this an… …read full story

Here are the behind the scenes/outtakes from Audrina Patridge’s FHM photo shoot making the Internet rounds today and I’m not really going to get into the specifics of why I’m posting these. But if you guessed it’s to make… …read full story

- Rihanna is really pushing the boundaries of crazy shit she’s allowed to get away wearing. [Lainey Gossip] – Sean Penn’s weapon of choice? Ass cancer. [Dlisted] – Rebecca Gayheart had a baby girl. Now to explain why smoking… …read full story

Somewhere James Cameron is kicking himself for not thinking of this first. PopEater reports: Singer Katy Perry will be featured in a film based on the ‘Smurfs.’ Perry is in negotiations to voice the role of Smurfette, one of… …read full story

Pretty much what I just said in the headline, but with more words. Via the Daily Mail: It is alleged the pair first had a brief fling after she starred in the video for the Rolling Stones’ 1997 song… …read full story

Because he’s already played an explosive expert in The Hurt Locker, Jeremy Renner thinks it’s time to start handling some real napalm. With his penis. People reports: Jeremy spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy,” the source says…. …read full story