Since I just posted about fake breasts and dumb, what better follow-up than Heidi Montag in a bikini? Here she is on her honeymoon in Mexico, and of course, even then she’s still posing for pics. Seriously, I bet… …read full story

Since I just posted about fake breasts and dumb, what better follow-up than Heidi Montag in a bikini? Here she is on her honeymoon in Mexico, and of course, even then she’s still posing for pics. Seriously, I bet… …read full story

- Jennifer Aniston is NOT adopting a baby. No, Angelina would be expecting that. But a dolphin…. [PopSugar] – Hugh Jackman bought breakfast for 800 Wolverine fans waiting in line in Arizona. See, kids, never having sex does pay… …read full story

Here’s shots of Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali taking surfing lessons in Maui yesterday, and I gotta hand it to Lindsay. This whole “vacation” is probably the smartest thing she’s ever done. I mean, what else does Lindsay… …read full story

Even though she possesses the Hands of Death, Madonna is surprisingly not welcome in the Hamptons, according to Page Six: A couple of weekends ago, Madonna, who recently signed a contract for a townhouse on East 81st Street, stayed… …read full story

Sean Penn has filed for divorce from Robin Wright-Penn, and this time he means it. TMZ reports: According to papers filed last week in Marin County Superior Court, Penn cites “irreconcilable differences.” The couple was married 13 years and… …read full story

Since I just posted about fake breasts and dumb, what better follow-up than Heidi Montag in a bikini? Here she is on her honeymoon in Mexico, and of course, even then she’s still posing for pics. Seriously, I bet… …read full story

The controversial Miss California Carrie Prejean stopped by The Today Show this morning to announce she’ll be joining the National Organization for Marriage and their “Gathering Storm” in Washington to campaign against gay marriage. E! News reports: …read full story

Reality star and father of eight, Jon Gosselin, is fighting allegations he was caught cheating with another woman at a Pennsylvania bar while his wife Kate was out of town. He issued the following statement, according to People: “Like… …read full story

Maybe I was up too late writing captions, but did it take anyone else a minute to realize that’s Paris’ purse strap and not a gigantic penis? I don’t know what that says about me as a person, but… …read full story

Dammit. I knew I should’ve put my money in buttpad stock. Kim Kardashian officially launched Queen of the Kims today, a look-a-like contest that’s open to women and drag queens everywhere. She kicked off the contest this morning on… …read full story

- Lindsay Lohan”s weight loss secret: Adderall! And yet somehow she can’t find work. Amazing. [Lainey Gossip] – Heidi Montag is considering posing for Playboy, and Spencer is actually brokering the deal. Hey, if he’s not going to look… …read full story

Welcome to another The Superficial Caption Gallery. This time around we’re featuring red carpet disasters such as good ol’ Brooke Hogan here. Feel free to laugh along at my sexy wit, or simply the fact that these people paid… …read full story

In probably the most prestigious competition conceived by man, Scarlett Johansson has been declared the owner of the “Best Celebrity Breasts” by Access Hollywood. Here’s how others ranked in cleavagey fortitude: 1. Scarlett Johansson 2. Salma Hayek …read full story

Anyone who has seen just one episode of the reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 is probably wondering how the hell this didn’t happen sooner, but Jon Gosselyn has allegedly been caught with another woman, according to Us… …read full story

Chris Brown’s attorney Mark Geragos is looking to get the alleged beating case dismissed based on the leaked photo of a severely battered Rihanna. E! News reports: Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg today set a preliminary hearing… …read full story

Maybe I was up too late writing captions, but did it take anyone else a minute to realize that’s Paris’ purse strap and not a gigantic penis? I don’t know what that says about me as a person, but… …read full story

In response to rumors they’re getting a divorce, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have announced they’re expecting twins. Via surrogate that is. The AP reports: Parker, 44, and Broderick, 47, “are happily anticipating the birth of their tw …read full story

After a lengthy court battle with Britney Spears’ conservatorship, a judge has issued a permanent restraining order preventing Sam “I’ll Piss On Your Grave” Lutfi from going anywhere near the pop singer or her children. Jon Eardley, an attorney… …read full story

Welcome to another The Superficial Caption Gallery. This time around we’re featuring red carpet disasters such as good ol’ Brooke Hogan here. Feel free to laugh along at my sexy wit, or simply the fact that these people paid… …read full story

Lindsay Lohan continues her Hawaiian vacation, and after looking at these shots, I’m convinced she’s trying to land the role of Gollum in The Hobbit. Seriously, all that’s missing from is her eating a raw fis- Wow, I’m going… …read full story

- Julia Roberts swears! And even more shockingly, is alive. Holy shit! [PopSugar] – Fergie’s shoe line includes heels named after The Jonas Brothers? So are you not allowed to wear them until you’re married? I don’t get it…. …read full story

Here’s Ashlee Simpson carrying Bronx Mowgli in New York City, and before everyone gets bent out of shape, I would never make fun of an innocent baby. But I would suggest one immediately hijacks a car and flees to… …read full story

Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife Linda is jumping all over his comment that he thought about going OJ on her. She’s using the remark to squeeze more money out of their divorce settlement, according to TMZ: Linda Hogan just filed papers… …read full story

Because Jesus prohibits the learning of natural selection, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are honeymooning in Mexico this week. Turns out there’s some sort of influenza going on down there. Maybe you guys have heard of it – everywhere…. …read full story