Because perverts make up 98% of The Superficial’s traffic – And 110% of the editorial staff. (I have a conjoined twin.) – here’s a bikini-clad Emma Watson in Jamaica this morning. For any young Harry Potter fans accidentally stumbling… …read full story

- Paris Hilton goes skiing with arms dealers which proves she’s a biological weapon for the government. [Lainey Gossip] – Carmen Electra’s leaked lesbian “sex tape” was really a viral ad. That would explain the lack of sex. [Drunken… …read full story

Kim Kardashian posted the rest of the obviously Photoshopped pics from her QuickTrim photoshoot on her blog today which also feature Khloe. Of course, since Kim has the intelligence of a reality star who followed the footsteps of Paris… …read full story

George Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis spent the holiday weekend in Mexico with Cindy Crawford and her husband Randy Gerber, and surprisingly none of these pics include Clooney instructing a submissive Cindy to throw her wedding ring i …read full story

On the bright side, no one ended up with a gaping hole in their face. Via TMZ: Nick Hogan was involved in a minor car accident last night in downtown Los Angeles. He was coming back from a charity… …read full story

Because perverts make up 98% of The Superficial’s traffic – And 110% of the editorial staff. (I have a conjoined twin.) – here’s a bikini-clad Emma Watson in Jamaica this morning. For any young Harry Potter fans accidentally stumbling… …read full story

Depending on where you got your gossip in my absence, David Hasselhoff was either hospitalized for a seizure or put on psychological hold for the weekend. Regardless it’s pretty much a given he drank an entire replica of KITT… …read full story

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon’s reps have officially shot down rumors the two split over the holiday, according to Gossip Cop. Coincidentally, even they were surprised by the news. JAKE: Hey, did you know we’re still alive and dating?… …read full story

For the five of you unaware, early Friday morning Tiger Woods drove his Escalade into a neighbor’s tree while high on painkillers and/or having just had the shit kicked out of him by his golf club-wielding wife Elin thanks… …read full story

The Superficial will be off until Monday, so in the spirit of Thanksgiving, here’s a small caption gallery of the celebs I’m most thankful for this year. In the meantime, you can follow my holiday antics on both Facebook… …read full story

Normally this is the part where I link you to various gossip items, but since I’m taking off until Monday, I figured I’d just point you in the direction of my link partners who I’m extremely thankful for. So… …read full story

Since it’s the day before Thanksgiving we’ve reached the point where I’m basically posting whatever the hell I want and you’ll like it. So here’s a sketch form last night’s Attack of the Show starring Twilight’s Peter Facinelli who… …read full story

Sometime Monday, an anonymous source started passing around these old Facebook photos of a drunken Katie Couric celebrating her debut as an anchor for CBS News. And my God, I thought I knew what eroticism meant, but brother, I… …read full story

Clearly on a suicide mission to free herself of tiny shackles forever, Katie Holmes went to see New Moon over the weekend and basically threw herself to the lions. FOX 411 reports: “Katie talked through all of ‘New Moon.’… …read full story

Tensions are apparently still high from the open letter calling Megan Fox a “thankless, unfriendly bitch” because she was noticeably absent from Michael Bay’s reunion party for the cast and crew of Transformers, according to Page Six. At this… …read full story

The headline pretty much covers it. Star reports: Four years before Gossip Girl brought him instant stardom, the 18-year-old hunky college freshman had a steamy, sex-filled romance with model/actress Shauna, the ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and May 1996 …read full story

Here’s supermodels Claudia Schiffer ,39, Helena Christensen ,40, and Eva Herzigova ,36, posing nude together for the winter issue of i-D Magazine, and these shots are seriously making me rethink my theory of marooning women over the age of… …read full story

- Rihanna does Good Morning America while Adam Lambert learns a lesson about ABC not being MTV. [Lainey Gossip] – Lady GaGa gets breasty at Best Buy. [Drunken Stepfather: Site is NSFW] – Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are… …read full story

Actress Zoe Saldana (Star Trek) poses for DETAILS.com and talks about her penchant for starring in action flicks like the upcoming Avatar: “I’m such a physical person, action-film work came natural,” Saldana says. “Even at 5 years old, I… …read full story

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie apparently have heated discussions over Obama, according to Us Magazine: “She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise,” a …read full story

Michael Lohan’s tape recorder is back. Instead of targeting Lindsay and Dina, Michael’s selling private phone calls with Jon Gosselin to RadarOnline that reveal the Homely Humper’s ability to use horrible choices of words during a secretly recorded …read full story

Taking time off from blatantly hawking Warner Bros. DVDs, Kim Kardashian posted the above pic to her Twitter account Sunday claiming she’d reached her “goal” using QuickTrim, the weight loss product she’s endorsing. What’s hilarious is how obviously …read full story

Heidi Montag released her unfortunately-named single “Superficial” today and surprisingly uses the word “bitch” in the chorus despite her Puritan lifestyle of fake tits and sharing a bed with a homosexual: “They say I’m superficial, some call me a.. …read full story

Despite the fact she went on a five hour-naked rant on Ustream just last week, Tila Tequila is suing 4tube.com for posting a sex tape of her that she claims is from a stolen laptop. TMZ reports: Tila doesn’t… …read full story

Here’s supermodels Claudia Schiffer ,39, Helena Christensen ,40, and Eva Herzigova ,36, posing nude together for the winter issue of i-D Magazine, and these shots are seriously making me rethink my theory of marooning women over the age of… …read full story