Before I leave you staring at Lady GaGa’s vagina until Monday (You’re welcome, by the way.), let’s take a look back at the celebrity moments that defined 2009 and weren’t just naked pictures. Even though those are the real… …read full story

Years from now when we’re huddled in old cars hiding from our robot overlords, I’ll turn to the frightened family who traded me some boots for a can of beans and say “I knew this was coming the moment… …read full story

1. RIHANNA Posted: 5/8/2009 When these photos hit the Internet and Rihanna stupidly confirmed them to be the real deal, they literally destroyed every single post on this countdown. To put things in perspective, you could find a remote… …read full story

2. DITA VON TEESE Posted: 10/20/2009 I think the magic of these unreleased photos is that they were taken pre-Marilyn Manson. So if you’re like me, you fantasized about attaching a flux capacitor to your penis so you can… …read full story

HULK: So, listen, the way I have sex is I hide in the bushes behind my mate’s beach chair then pull her in from behind. So if I accidentally grab you instead of Jennifer, it’s not my fault. I… …read full story

Video: Pacific Coast News Lindsay Lohan went shopping in New York last night where her mere presence drew a crowd so large it required the police to come out and direct traffic. Seriously, Lindsay Lohan? Considering it was 80… …read full story

- Chris Brown Jet-skis after beating Rihanna, yet becomes a hermit when nobody likes his music. Nice. [Lainey Gossip] – Denise Richards is ready to detonate. Knew she wouldn’t let me down. [PopEater] – Christina Aguilera is really glad… …read full story

3. MILLA JOVOVICH Posted: 9/8/2009 If these pics of Milla Jovovovich were ever removed from the Internet, the very fabric of our existence would be sucked into the resulting gap. That’s how much you guys liked looking at her… …read full story

Despite the fact he starred in G.I. Joe and should be cast into the sea to spend his days in the belly of a whale, Marlon Wayans found himself the target of the paparazzi last night where he fired… …read full story

While an obvious effort – to this writer anyway – by Charlie Sheen’s people ensues to dig up dirt on his wife and the arresting officer from their Christmas fight, Brooke Mueller clearly has a death wish because she… …read full story

4. BRITNEY SPEARS Posted: 6/7/2009 When these photos of a dirty version of “Gimme More” leaked online, I honestly didn’t think anyone would want to see Britney Spears’ bare nipples covered in magic marker because it’d be a sad… …read full story

- Britney Spears’ dying her hair could mean vagina flashing is just around the corner. [Lainey Gossip] – Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner stop pretending they’re dating. [PopEater] – The Sugarbabes in bikinis. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] – Ange …read full story

5. HEIDI MONTAG Posted: 8/14/2009 We’re already halfway through the Top 10 Most Visited Posts of 2009, and somehow Heidi Montag is sitting at #5. Heidi Montag. And she’s not really naked! I’m sorry, folks, but this is for… …read full story

Lindsay Lohan went shopping in New York last night where her mere presence drew a crowd so large it required the police to come out and direct traffic. Seriously, Lindsay Lohan? Considering it was 80 below zero on the… …read full story

It’s barely been two weeks and Kourtney Kardashian is already pimping her newborn son Mason Dash Disick in the latest issue of Life & Style. In fact, I’m pretty sure she gnawed off the umbilical cord just in time… …read full story

Michael Lohan’s ex-girlfriend Erin Muller filed a detailed list of abuse in court papers yesterday which are a response to Michael Lohan’s harassment allegations against her. And it looks like she’s going with the classic defense of “Are you… …read full story

6. AMBER ROSE Posted: 8/19/2009 After posting these pics of Amber Rose wandering around Miami topless, I learned something: If you slap tits on a weird chemo patient that has sex with Kanye West, people will look. I like… …read full story

According to police documents, Charlie Sheen told officers at the scene of his fight with wife Brooke Mueller that his wife was jealous of a Christmas song he shares with his daughter Sam from Denise Richards. This led to… …read full story

7. HEIDI KLUM Posted: 10/30/2009 PHOTOGRAPHER: I need a really hot photo shoot idea for Heidi Klum. EINSTEIN’S GHOST: Cover her naked body in chocolate sauce. PHOTOGRAPHER: …. I am so glad you haunt me. EINSTEIN’S GHOST: E =… …read full story

Once upon a time, E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi interviewed Apprentice winner Bill Rancic. They fell in love, got married and settled down in Chicago and L.A.! Watch their wedded bliss unfold in Style’s real-life romantic comedy. Catch the… …read full story

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HULK: So, listen, the way I have sex is I hide in the bushes behind my mate’s beach chair then pull her in from behind. So if I accidentally grab you instead of Jennifer, it’s not my fault. I… …read full story

- Chris Brown Jet-skis after beating Rihanna, yet becomes a hermit when nobody likes his music. Nice. [Lainey Gossip] – Denise Richards is ready to detonate. Knew she wouldn’t let me down. [PopEater] – Christina Aguilera is really glad… …read full story

3. MILLA JOVOVICH Posted: 9/8/2009 If these pics of Milla Jovovovich were ever removed from the Internet, the very fabric of our existence would be sucked into the resulting gap. That’s how much you guys liked looking at her… …read full story

Despite the fact he starred in G.I. Joe and should be cast into the sea to spend his days in the belly of a whale, Marlon Wayans found himself the target of the paparazzi last night where he fired… …read full story